Right Now

I know this isn't fair to us. I know we've done so much, come so far, navigated this minefield we find ourselves in so well.

But sometimes… right now… I feel like a wave, battering myself ineffectively against a cliff face for eternity. Eroding it away, surely, but so slowly that that cliff face has more to worry about from the heat death of the universe than from a puny little ocean wave like me.

And right now? I need you, babe. I need your voice. I need your reassurance. I need those three words whispered in my ear. I need my lips brushing your ear as I whisper them back. I need that line obliterated.

I need you. Like I've never needed anything. Like I've never known I could need anything. You could take the air from my lungs and it would still be you I'm begging for.

I love you, my star, my hill by the lake. I need you. You're the blood in my veins, the food on my plate, the water in my cup.

I need you. Now. Tonight. In my arms.

But… I can't have you. Not yet. So I guess I'll just keep bashing my soul against that cliff face, smashing myself against it with all of the might I can muster, beating myself to a pulp in the vain hopes that someday, someday… it might give.

Someday.

♒️